One less monkey on my back.

In December 2008 I sat down to pay my bills and cried.  I had dug a hole deeper than I could get out of. And every month it was getting worse and worse. I had to do something.

I was $15,000 in debt and took home about $800 every two weeks.  I had rent, a car payment, a cell phone contract, DSL internet (but no cable t.v.), insurance and the occasional kid to feed.  I am not a frivolous spender, but I had put everything from a mattress and box spring to gas to an MRI on my credit cards.  I had nothing of substance to show for my purchases - no big screen t.v., no jewelry or designer clothes. My car could get from A to B and my knee could bare weight. I had hocked what I could - a couple of lenses, some scrapbooking supplies and a wedding ring that wasn't being used.  I was down to the stuff that doesn't sell at garage sales. 

I had heard Bob Brinker (a less annoying Suze Orman type who hosted a show called Money Talk) advise people in my position to go to Consumer Credit Counselling Service and talk to them about debt consolidation.  

I instant messaged my manfriend and fessed up about how bad my financial situation had become.  There were more tears. Angry ones. Embarrassed ones. Worried ones. SCARED ones. And all of them were fat and ugly. Lord, I am an ugly crier. I asked him if he'd come with me to the appointment I was mustering up the nerve to make.  Yes, he said. I asked him if he'd stand by me when I was really poor. Yes, he said.  I asked him if he thought I was stupid or weak. No, he said.

So I made the appointment.

I needed a second pair of ears to make sure everything I was told would come home with me.  I needed a second brain to make sure all the questions got asked. And so on a cold, dreary day in January we entered the back door of an unassuming office building in Parma.  We sat down with Casandra Hudak and I told her things about my money that no one wants to tell anyone. Hi. My name is Caroline. I don't make much money.  I've spent more than I make, and now I'm in deep doo doo. Please help.

She looked at my income. She looked at my bills. She asked me how much I pay for haircuts and how often I buy shoes and why I didn't have a line item for clothing. She punched numbers into her calculator. She entered numbers into her spreadsheets.  She clucked and shook her head and printed out the bad news. 

It would take $435 a month for 42 months. All my credit would be shut off, CCCS would negotiate a lower interest rate, all over limit fees would be waived. Late fees wouldn't be an issue because on the 20th of every month CCCS would take their money and make the payments on my behalf, and, unlike me, they would be really kick ass about making payments on time. I had to agree not to apply for any credit cards for the duration of my time in the program and if their auto-deductions were declined more than once I would be kicked out of the program and left to the mercy of my creditors. 

She pointed out that haircuts and clothing weren't going to be something I could afford.  She advised me not to do the program because there simply wasn't enough income to make it happen without other issues cropping up.  What if your car breaks down? What if I had a medical emergency that required copays?

Yeah? What if? Because I didn't have any money left over after making my payments anyway.  So please, just print out the contract and give to me to sign before I lose my resolve.

We left and it was still cold and dreary, and I was still scared and embarrassed and worried, but I also had butterflies of giddiness.  I could get out of this mess. There might be an end. 

And for the last 41 months I've watched as CCCS has taken $435 out of my checking account.  Most months I've really sweated that money being there.  I've learned to time my other bills and my paychecks to accommodate that withdrawal.  

The bills still came.  Sometimes I would open them and throw them away in disgust.  Progress was steady, but it was SLOW.  Lower interest rates were helpful, but because there was interest, my monthly payments were making dings, not dents, in my total debt.  

Most months I told myself that I was better off not looking at the bills.  They got shredded in a sealed envelope.

Over the last three and a half years I've heard surprisingly little from CCCS.  I got a letter letting me know they were being absorbed into Apprisen Financial Advocates.  There was a tiny flurry of communication a year ago when my bank switched my debit card from Visa to MasterCard.  Aside from that, we haven't been in touch. They make it surprisingly easy to hand over all your financial dirty laundry and let someone else deal with it while you walk away and try to not spend money.

And for all that lack of communication, I was a little surprised to get a message today from Thomas at Apprisen, asking me to call him about my "services" with them.  Once I placed the name I steeled myself for the worst: it was going to take longer than predicted or some other yuckiness.  Megan answered and I told her I was returning a call from Thomas.  Rather than passing me off, she took my name and social security number and proceeded to tell me that I had a zero balance.

What does that mean?

I am done. I have payed everyone off.  A month earlier than planned. I dutifully took notes through the rest of the call, writing down when I should check my credit report (3 to 5 months), what I should look for there (anything that looks out of place), the website that they recommend (annualcreditreport.com) and why looking at the credit report is more beneficial than just buying your scores. I listened politely, asked her to verify that they had my correct address to send the final paperwork, thanked her and hung up.  

And then I cried again.

Brings new meaning to "Quickie"

I'm going to abandon my usual wordy ways and just post a layout without commentary:

I absolutely LOVE the Fancy Pants Wave Searcher line of papers - so sublime, so perfect for memories of a relaxing time at the beach.  

Man. What I wouldn't give for a week at the beach...

Have a good thought for me on Thursday (7/12).  Second of three tests in my calc class.  I'm all studied out, with writers cramp like you wouldn't believe from working problems from 10a.m. to 8:30p.m. At noon tomorrow we'll be down to a mere three weeks. 

I can do it. 

I can do it. 

I can do it.

(I hope.)

Thanks for stopping by!

p.s.  Yeah. I know. So much for no commentary.

Being a parent of teenagers is HARD.

I thought it was hard with Ian because of his ADD.  I grew up with a sibling with ADHD and have 4 kids, only one of whom has ADD.  I know that there are a LOT of people who think it's a BS diagnosis, that really it's an excuse for bad behavior and lazy parenting.  But I can't stress it enough - I came from a household where bad behavior wasn't accepted.  My parents held the bar high and called us when we fell short.  I think there a lot of differences in my parenting style, but tolerating bad behavior isn't one of them.  But ADD often has academic consequences, which can often leave behind a wake of self confidence issues...as well as a number of other challenges.  It's hard for a kid with ADD to keep his shit together all day long, and after he has, he will lose it a little home.  And I'd rather that happen at home than at school, work, church or in public in general.  Is it encouraged? No.  Was he given free reign? No.  But it was sometimes a challenge.  Is.  Is a challenge.  He's 21, works full time, still takes medication to help him focus.  And sometimes those issues still flare up.

Maggie had been easier.  Dreamy, in fact. Especially by comparison.  But part of being a teenager is pushing the limits.  Pushing mom and dad away.  That's how they gain independence. It's the cycle that happens in every home, to some degree or another.  Yes, some kids are easier while some kids wreak havoc on their homes.  So even though she's been on the easy end of the spectrum we've still butt heads on plenty of occasions.

We've had a rough week around here.  And I bare some responsibility in this: if you've stopped by at all in the last 7 weeks, you've certainly read that I'm in over my head with the class I'm taking this summer.  It's put me on edge and I am REALLY trying to hold my shit together for my kids.  Where the little kids haven't really picked up on my edginess, Maggie has noticed and has - wisely - given me a wide girth.  But her wide girth translated into some miscommunications and then - unwisely - some non-communications.  It came to a head tonight - not in a yelling, screaming kind of way, but a calm and civil discussion about expectations, respect, perceptions, family, being a teenager, growing up, consideration and then a whole other slew of things.

WHY am I telling you all this?  Sheesh.  Over sharer of the year. But here's the thing (and I've said this before): I don't think that sharing our struggles is a bad thing.  Because if one person reads this and feels a sense of relief because they, too, are experiencing a less-than-perfect existence, then all this typing was worth it.  I think the front of perfection is bullshit and bad for humanity. :)

Also, I tried to share this layout yesterday and I had nothing to say.  I love the layout, the picture, the journaling.  But yesterday my head and heart weren't able share this.  The sentiment of the layout held, but it felt, somehow, like a lie.  Today, with things ironed out, I can happily share a layout about my daughter.  The daughter I am deeply proud of.

I wish I could easily share the journaling, but apparently I didn't save it.  At this point I'm sunburned, dirty and beat and I just don't trust myself to try to retype it.  If you can make it out, I think it's worth the read.

Thanks for stopping by. At the risk of sounding schmaltzy, I hope all is well with your families.

Tonight might be one of those nights....

...where I grab the kids and an old quilt and head to the beach. My feet hurt and it's hot, and I think standing ankle deep in the lake and then laying down and listening to the waves would be just what I need to shake off the week.

I don't like rice.

Which is odd, because there's nothing wrong with it.  I just don't like it. I associate it with being poor or sick. It doesn't really have a flavor.  I think it's a waste of calories.  So I don't like it.  And I don't eat it.

If a person says "I hate Brussels sprouts" or "I hate beets", everyone understands.  Even if you happen to like Brussels sprouts, you probably get why someone else doesn't like them.  But rice? No one sympathizes with me.

Journaling reads:

Kerig started calling me “math girl” close to a year ago, and I have to admit, there in the beginning, I didn’t like it very much.  I felt like maybe he was making fun of me. To be fair, that’s probably all in my imagination, especially since he’s been my biggest supporter and best, most reliable cheerleader all along.  But over time the name has grown on me.  In my head, Math Girl is a super hero.  I have a silly vision in my head of a cartoon girl with a cape with a fun and MG logo on it.  I would like to say that I envision fighting off bad guys with a dry erase marker and my mad integrating skills, but alas, my attempts to study in public have yielded some pretty weird experiences: boys in chicken suits, strange men asking to borrow 50¢ “or maybe a dollar?”, a lady who began making really loud crowing noises and randomly rearranged chairs at the tables around me.  I think these experiences have proven that I’m not ready to go up against the Joker, Lex Luthor or The Riddler anytime soon.
 And never mind that “sigma notation” is my own personal kryptonite… 

I find that televisions, computers, and boyfriends all pose a huge threat to my concentration level, so I have found that going "out" helps me avoid those distractions.  Except, I just seem to trade pleasant distractions for just plain WEIRD distractions.

What on earth does any of this have to do with rice? Nothing, really.  On the way from school to work today I was thinking about how I might have time to write up a blog post, and that it would be about this layout.  Which got me to thinking that I made this right after the Spring semester ended, and how Sigma notation was a pain in my ass then.  And just today we moved on after having spent the last three weeks on....drum roll please...sigma notation.  And it wasn't any less of a pain in my ass this time around.  But really sigma notation is like rice: it's not really a big deal.  But I don't like it, so I make my own big deal about it.

Look.  I found the place where whining about school and scrapbooking intersect. WOOT.

Believe in Yourself

Have I mentioned the class I'm taking this summer is 5 credits? And that it meets for 2 hours a day Monday through Thursday? And that we have a quiz every day? Or that the guy teaching it is...actually, I have not a bad word to say about the man.  But damn he moves fast!

This whole process has been a fun challenge up to this point.  I'm not going to lie: I've complained a lot a long the way, but it's all been doable.  But things ARE getting harder. And I have my doubts.  It's funny, because I've done this before (I already have a degree in math, so shouldn't this be a piece of cake?), but it's not like riding a bike. And having not used those muscles for 20 years, it's like doing it for the first time.

But I really want this.  And I'm entirely different person than I was at 18 and 20 and 22.  I have a focus and a determination that I never had before.  I have my priorities laid out and I'm honoring them on a daily basis.  I know myself, my strengths and my weaknesses.  I know how to manage my time, how to push through and when to take a break.

This won't last forever (although, it's sort of feeling like it at the moment), but I am seeing the end in sight.

And all of that ↑↑↑  is what this ↓↓↓ is all about:

This is a lousy shot of a page I really like.  If you know the kinds of pages I make, I'm not one on embellishments - love them, but they feel awkward unless they have meaning.  (even then, I'm no master, so I often remove them before committing to them)  But this does have symbolism - the graph paper represents my math journey, the butterflies are...well, duh...the leaves are growth, the metal shows the strength that I want to have.  Even the hexagons are routed in an assignment on tessellations I had last semester that really pissed me off. :P
















But yeah - the hexagons are hot right now.  I love them and this won't be the last time they pop up on a page.  Maybe next time they'll be a little "funner" than they are this time around.  But I *love* these - they way they're wonky and just trail off.  And here's a fun tidbit: I asked Kerri Bradford to make them and she did.  How cool is that? The set can be found HERE.

I spritzed the background with Mr. Huey's and cut the hexagons out of the patterned paper and then cut the hexagon edges in black and mounted that on top of the patterned paper, then mounted the whole thing on the spritzed cardstock using foam squares. I love the way the elevation creates the shadows.  Sadly, it just doesn't show up in the photos.

So that's that today.  It's not my usual way, but I like it.

It may not make sense to you, but to me, it means the world.

Scrapbookers document.  Through photos, words, and products, we chose a story, we convey a mood, we record our perspective.  We choose big stories - life's monumental occasions: weddings, new babies, graduations.  We choose the reoccurring biggies: first days of school, lost teeth, Thanksgiving and birthdays. But we often forget to record those fleeting moments that make up the seemingly mundane of every day life.

Listen, I'm guilty of this, too.  Kids whining about not wanting to unload the dishwasher is hardly compelling scrapbook material. But I got this one right.  And it may not make sense, or you may get mired down in the minutia of what was said, but for me the fact that I got that crappy cell phone photo and a quote from my son down - that's my definition of hitting it spot on.

One night when I was too lazy to cook I herded Ted and Molly into the car and we headed for Chipotle.  On our way a personalized license plate sparked a conversation that eventually meandered into a conversation about the phrase "In God we trust" on money, and whether the sentiment is unconstitutional.  I have to admit, having a seventh grader who questions whether ANYTHING is unconstitutional makes me pretty proud. We talked about how our country was founded by people looking to be free of religious persecution, and how William Bradford wrote extensively on the importance of respecting the religious rights of others.  We don't need to believe what other's do, but we do have to give them the freedom to worship as they see fit.  And then we talked about how we have different ways of referring to God, and different thoughts about what He wants for and from us, but that we can probably agree that "God" is a widely accepted terms, and is probably plenty constitutional.  Just about then we arrived at Chipotle and as we walked through the parking lot he said it: "But not all religions are monotheistic."  My son, whose every thought seems to revolve around football and baseball and video games, used the word monotheistic correctly in a sentence debating the constitutionality of...well...anything.  I'm not saying he was right or wrong, I'm saying: Wow. It was such an unexpected thing that as we stood in line at Chipotle I typed the sentence into my phone.  We sat down with our food and while I fussed with my foil wrapper and getting everything just so it occurred to me that I should snap a quick picture of Ted - something to remember the day with.  By the time I finished with the phone and started eating I looked over and noticed that he was taking the last bite of his burrito.  In the time it took me to unwrap my straw, tear off the top of our chip bag and peel the foil off my burrito he was DONE.  Apparently this is what it is to have a teenage, sports-playing son on the cusp of becoming a grown up.

I love that I saved this memory.  It might not make sense to anyone other than me, but it's my memory and every time I turn the page and see this, I will smile and my heart will be happy.

Bouncing Back

So I said I'd post something scrapbooky soon, and there's no time like the present!  We started a new chapter in Calc today and apparently the first sections  are easier than subsequent sections, because I got my homework done in about 2 hours, which is down from the usual 5. So I've got a little unaccounted for free time! YEE HAA!!

I made this layout for the Cord Camera Scrapbook Studio Design Team for June and it was posted a little while ago and I haven't had a chance to add my 2¢ about it.  I was asked to play with Bella Blvd's Sunshine and Happiness line.  I absolutely love bright, vibrant colors and I gravitate towards playful, small(ish) patterns.  These papers hit all my favorite things! Well, not my graph paper favorite thing, but that's another day's post...  Naturally I had a ton of fun with these papers. 

Sometimes you start the layout process holding a picture and thinking about the story you want to tell.  In this case, I had the papers first, I immediately thought of a picture of my older daughter Maggie wearing an orange striped swimsuit in our community pool when we lived in Rochester, Indiana 15 or so years ago.  I set out to find that photo but got sidetracked along the way.  That can sometimes happen when you have something like 20 shoeboxes of photos to dig through...  Have you ever been flipping through photos looking for something and coming across something that stops you dead in your tracks? You let out a little sigh and stare at the photo while memories wash over you? So cheesy, I know, but that's what happened.  

When I got my first studio light I didn't really know what I was doing, and the best way to learn is to play and practice and experiment and analyze and retry.  Molly was both my assistant and my muse.  She was so good about letting me practice on her.  For my part, I did my best to make it either short or fun or a little of both.  On this day, I had a big cup full of bouncy balls and had her fling the balls at me.  The shots were super fun - globs of color floating in the air and her happy expression and chubby toddler hands behind them.  

I love the way the Bella Blvd papers convey a fun and happy vibe.  I love (lovelovelove) the wonky scallop borders - can't get enough of that!

I used the words that came on the sticker sheet interspersed with my journaling, but wanted to add just a little more color to keep the flow - so added colored text boxes around various words.  For the sticker words that were white, I just used a colored pencil and none-to-carefully traced around them just to help them pop a little more.  I love that the journaling became a design element.  I want to remember to try this again sometime soon.

I feel like I might be the last person in the scrapperverse to try these stick pin/flaggie things.  

I'm gonna come right out and say it:

THEY SCARE ME.

I don't know why, but they do.  I envision injuries and blood.  But I'm here to tell you, no bodily fluids were lost in the making of this layout or in any subsequent handling.  Maybe they're not that scary after all.  And they're danged cute!  

Oh.  The little graphic prints make my heart happy.  The grids, itty bitty polka dots and chevrons in happy colors are perfect.  They couldn't have picked a better name for this line than Sunshine and Happiness! I totally agree.

And now, Molly aged 11 11/12 is waiting for me to beat her play her in a couple of games of ping pong!

Thanks for stopping by!

p.s. Did you notice that there was NO SILHOUETTE used on this page?  I know, right? CRAZZZY!!!

Epic Flail

Have you ever watched a drowning scene in movie or tv show where the actor is swatting at the surface of the water and gasping for air? Only their head is above water more than it's under, so they're not in any real danger (yet) and you feel like yelling at the screen "If you'd just calm down, take a deep breath and keep your fingers together, you'd be FINE!"  It's that flailing around that is so desperate and so very unproductive.  And yet, when you're in that moment, when you feel so helpless and scared and the panic sets in and takes over, it's the only thing your confused body can muster.

Sometimes all you really have to do it put your feet down and stand up to find that you were never really in danger in the first place.

I don't know what this has to do with scrapbooking or blogging, except this round-about "this is where I am" post.  I am not prepared to say that I am a perfectionist, because I am far too lazy for that.  But I'm not fond of failure and I'm even less fond of half-assing it.  And while I'm not a perfectionist, I do have a little "thing" about my grades.  I was never like this the first time around.  I worked kinda hard(ish) but maintaining a good work/life balance was more important than my grades.  And sometimes my definition of "life" was a little way off base.  Note to the 20 year-old version of me: Wheel of Fortune reruns do NOT count as "life."  Anyway, my grades: frankly, it's not the grade that concerns me.  If that were the case I'd cheat.  It's not the grade that concerns me so much as the level of understanding and ability it represents. Someone who earns a B simply doesn't have the same grasp of the material as the person who earns the A.  Theoretically, at least.  Because the person who earned the A could turn around and forget it all by the time their lunch is digested and ultimately know less than the B person, if that B person were diligent about learning from his or her mistakes and keeping the information active within their memory banks.

Theoretically.

There it is. The 83% on my Calc II exam.  That leaves me with an overall  89%.  The good news is, I kept the dumb mistakes to a minimum - maybe 3 points were because I just transcribed something wrong or made a sign error.  That's good.  The bad news is, the other mistakes were because I had genuinely forgotten, or didn't have a good enough grasp of the concept.  Now that is where I feel like the bad actor slapping the water and gasping for breath.  Because I do know this stuff.  And now, because I didn't have it on the day of the test, hopefully I've kicked into my brain in such a manner than I'll do better next time the question comes up.

Oy.  This going back to school as a bona fide adult isn't for wimps.  You develop that work ethic and standards and you raise the bar a little higher and suddenly really decent just isn't good enough.

Remember when this was a scrapbooking blog? Yeah. Me too.  I miss it.



You should take a minute to watch that. Especially if you have kids.  Because it's fun.
And also, so you can walk around singing "Potato, potato, potato. Potato, potato, potatooo. Potato, potato, potato" in your head, like me.

I'll be back in a day or two with an honest to goodness scrapbook post.
Thanks for stopping by.

And hey! Did you know that St. Hubert is the patron saint of mathematics?  He's also the patron saint of hunters, which means he has a pocket protector AND a cross bow.  How cool is that?

What I did on my Summer vacation:

Panicked.

Yesterday was one of those days where my professor talked and I listened...and for as much as I understood, he might as well have been speaking in Portuguese. Ok, maybe it wasn't quite THAT bad.  But it wasn't that good, either. And then he assigned the homework, which looked a little like this:

Chapter 5.8, page 398
ODDS:
19-33
45-73
79-99
105-109

Chapter 6.2, page 420
ODDS:
21-27
33-41
57-61

And then, for good measure, a worksheet.
Oh! And don't forget to study for the quiz.  You know...the QUIZ...the one we start every blessed class with.  His favorite phrase is "...I'll take a point off for every time you make that mistake." I'm convinced it's entirely possible to get a negative score on his tests.

Anyway, yesterday. Holy cow.  By the time 11:00 rolled around last night, I was done.  And by "done" I don't mean "finished my homework." Rather, I mean, I was done trying.  I was throwing in the towel. I woke up this morning with a lump in my stomach. This is the day that it all unravels.  This is the day that the gig is up.  You're not smart enough. You're not strong enough.  You're not dedicated enough. You're a sham. Just like before.

What a crappy way to start the day.

Plus, I hadn't even studied for the quiz.  Most of the time, in a math class, a quiz is "do these three problems."  With Mr. I-Will-Whip-Your-Sorry-Ass-Into-Shape-and-You-Will-EARN-Whatever-Grade-You-Receive it means memorization of definitions, theorems, and formulas. It's a page worth of regurgitation.  Math? Not (generally) a problem. Regurgitation? Sort of an problem.

My big issue yesterday is that we were doing something based on something I learned in 11th grade.  For those who don't know me personally, 11th grade was 1984. Holy SHITBALLS.  (excuse my language, but I deserve credit for holding that in until now) Normally when a teacher is working on something relatively obscure, like, say, hyperbolic trig functions, a teacher might elect to do a brief ten minute refresher.  No.  Not Mr. Damn-The-Calculus-Torpedoes-Full-Speed-Ahead.

Despite the self-loathing mantras I started the day with, I am smart enough to "plug-and-chug."  A mathematical term meaning "just plug the damn numbers into the formula and get the friggen answer already."  It's common practice for people who don't actually know (or want to know) the theories and concepts behind the math.  So I was able to - painstakingly - get through about 70% of the homework.

But 70% isn't really good enough in a class that meets for an hour and 45 minutes Monday through Thursday.  I suppose it would be fully acceptable on Thursday, but if you pull that 70% crap on Monday you are seriously putting yourself behind the eight ball for the rest of the week.  This guy moves fast and if you don't get what we talked about yesterday, you might be building your flimsy house of cards on a sandy beach in a windstorm, if you get my drift. Which is partially why I woke up with nothing kind to say to myself this morning.  "You're fucked" was kind of as nice as I could muster.

But the heavens smiled on me today.  He hadn't even taught the whole chapter yesterday.  And during our break I mentioned that I hadn't been in a trig class since 1984 (which, by the way, is a critical error when surrounded by a bunch of 19 year olds. There was a faint ripple of "1984??"s heard in the room after I said it. What an ego booster.  Because I'm taking that as they all had no clue that I was ...well...as old as I am.  Guess that cat's out of the bag now, eh?) Anyway, I mentioned the 1984 thing and that I couldn't really remember what it all meant and the professor didn't really say anything.  But then after he covered one or two things, he offered us an impromptu extra credit assignment.  In the course of telling us what he wanted us to do, he fully unfolded the concepts that I hadn't understood.   He drew and labeled graphs, reminded us what things meant, worked some parallel problems.

Gratitude is one of those things that has been ingrained in me from a million years ago.  I don't know if it's from years of "Say 'thank you.'" or the format of the way I pray, but good doesn't go unnoticed.  I am so grateful for the way he dropped back and punted.  That he changed up his lesson to quietly accommodate the old lady and did in a way that wouldn't bore the other students, and would even throw a life raft to some other students.  Despite my panic today, I'm doing well in the class.  I don't "need" extra credit, per se.  However, doing the exercise will reinforce what I had long ago forgotten.  That he didn't throw me under the bus for the other students to see or ignore my issues, for that I am extremely grateful.

Oh, and that homework up there^^^?  For the first time ever, he reposted it and told us to finish it up.

Whew.

And so I came home with a HUGE weight off my shoulders.  Today would not be the day it all unraveled.  Or the day the gig was up.  I might revisit the sham thing, but I can let go of it today.

And then I allowed myself to work on some design team stuff.  Oh how wonderful it is to "have" to scrapbook.  To be able to switch gears, switch from left brain to right brain is such a relief sometimes.  And how grateful am I to have this opportunity to have this balancing agent in my life? ETERNALLY.

And the Instagram shot at the top of the post? That's the sneak peek.  But you knew that already.  ;)

Do you know about Plum District?

It's the same basic concept as GroupOn and LivingSocial, but with more of a mom/Mormon-y bent.  I'm asking because they have a deal where you get $50 worth of Silhouette stuff for $30.  You can't use it on the machines, gift cards or downloadable shapes.  HOWEVER, if you're kind of thinking about buying the Designer Edition of the software, or maybe you want to try some vinyl or rhinestone packs, it would be perfect.  I used mine for the software...I'm hoping to quit my day job.  ;)  Just kidding.

I'm not trying to get mine for free or anything, just sharing the love.  :)

Here's a linky-poo to see the offer. (I hope)

Memorial Day Sneak Peak

Blah Blah Blah.
This is the third version of this because apparently I thought you needed the blow by blow of my weekend, but really, what you need to know boils down to this:

1. I was actually at my house for the weekend.  (normally I am not)
2. Due to the holiday (Thank you to all who have served, past and present) I had the day off.
3. I cleaned and purged my scrap room.  There will be some really kick ass trash at 8860 this Thursday.
4. I have scrapped 3 layouts SO FAR this weekend.  I'm hoping to squeeze in one more before bed.
5. I have a sneak peak:

6. I think I failed to mention that I recently took a class called A CUT ABOVE offered at OnlineCardClasses.com.  I simply can't say enough good things about this class.  The class is about die cutting, both traditional and Silhouette, with a card slant.  I had hoped that it would get me past my card making issues, but sadly, it didn't, but the techniques and products and how-tos were fantastic.
7, I think I also failed to mention that I recently took Kerri Bradford's "Oh the places you'll go" class.  Which is kind of alie, because, truth be told, I'm only about half way through it.  I have learned a metric shit ton about the Cameo software.  That's saying a lot, because I really thought I knew a ton to start with.  She's got some really fabulous examples and goes through the software in a goal-oriented way, so you aren't just learning how to do something, but why it's handy to know it.  I've put so much of it to use already.  Such a time saver.  Both classes are self paced, so if you have a little extra money to spend on yourself (don't we all??) these are really good investments.
8.  I think I said something about attempting to do another layout tonight, so I think I should wrap this up.
9. Thanks for stopping by.
10.  Nine is such a dopey way to end a list blog entry.  Who would do that? Not me!

UPDATE: That 4th page? LOLOLOLOL

As close as I come to decorating...

I would like you all to think that I live in an austere, dust-free environment.

Sadly, I do not.

However, I do aspire to that and because that's how I'd like to live, I have made the conscious decision to keep tchotchkes to a bare minimum. It's not that I don't like knickknacks, but I don't like dusting and I don't like dust.  So keeping the trinkets at bay helps - at least a little - to keep things a little less...yucky.

A couple of years ago I made a little banner for my apartment door.  It was a fun little Saturday night project with my girls and it came together so effortlessly - which is NOT how things usually work for me.

I have to say: coming home to this on my door made me happy for an entire month.

I have moved and no longer live in the cute apartment with the cute door.  The home I live in now has a front door that wouldn't keep this dry.  Also, no one would ever see it.  Except the guy who stopped by today looking for donations for St. Mary's Church...but that's neither here nor there.  However, the door that leads into the garage is both dry and viewed daily.  And in desperate need of some "spruce."  So the banner thing has sort of grown.  there's a "Luv U" banner and a "JOY" banner for Christmas.  But if you think about it, that means that the door has something seasonally appropriate October through February.  Only the Luv U banner stays up until October.  Because heck, I Luv U...or them, that is. This brings Molly great distress though, and I have been told more than once that I needed to fix that.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I'll get around to it.

Ok. Disclaimer: the door to the garage is too ugly to actually show. :P  So this is a section of the living room wall. This is the Saturdays collection from Little Yellow Bicycle.  And the fun the patriotic colors and patterns begged to be made into a summer banner.  This'll last us from Memorial Day through Labor Day.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Molly!  :P

Another Sneak Peek

Today is the deadline, and it made a nice little whoooooshing sound as it whizzed by.  It's been quite the couple of weeks and the calendar doesn't have as many holes in it as it usually does.  I sort of thought because I was scrapping under a lot of pressure that I'd end up hating whatever I made today.  Nope.  I get to use Bella Blvd and it's impossible to play with those colors and not love the result. :)

See what I did there? Talked about all the happy colors and then showed mostly text?  That's called creating suspense baby. :P

Stay tuned...

Let's change gears.

I still have one more thing from the Simple Stories "Fabulous" line, but I thought I'd change things up and move on to Little Yellow Bicycle's "Saturday" line.

This is another one with a very country aesthetic and it has a really patriotic feel to it as well. I promise to never lie to you - I respect you too much.  And since I already said country isn't my thing, I can't back peddle.  So here's the bottom line:  I probably would never buy this line on my own.  However, that said, it was pretty fun to take a little vacation while playing with this line.  I think because we have such strong images of Americana and country porches and patriotic buntings and picnics and fourth of July celebrations - that all made it a very easy line to scrap with.  And it's funny that I would frame it that way and then show you a layout that uses pictures that has nothing to do with any of those things and was taken in January:

But do you see what I mean about the patriotic bunting?  Okay, maybe it's a stretch, but it was the launching-off point for this layout.

I think that sometimes it's really hard to separate layouts from pictures.  I really like this layout, but I don't know if it's because I like the colors, the flow, the title treatment or because I'm so in love with these photos of Molly and Reba.

Molly is the ultimate tom boy when it comes to her hair and wardrobe - she just doesn't want to fuss with that stuff and consequently she keeps her beautiful hair pulled into a ponytail and uses a black headband to catch the strays.  Every. Blessed. Day.  I had my lights set up for another project one day and when she came home from school I sent her straight to the showers and then blew dry her (beautiful) hair.  I really just wanted some decent pictures of her, but we were working on the stairs, which are just opposite the kitchen entryway.  The entryway has a baby gate that keeps Reba penned into the kitchen/dining/family room area.  Why? Because she sheds like crazy and likes to eat lady's underwear, so she's just not welcome in the rest of the house.  Here's the thing about Reba: she gets really jealous when more than one family member is on the other side of that gate.  Heaven forbid Ted comes into my scrap area to talk to me at night - Reba will bark and whine and whack her tail against the wall until we pay attention to her.  So on this day she was up to her old tricks and eventually I gave in and let her out.  Oh, and the other thing about Reba is that she won't look into the camera.  She's just smart enough to have wised up about my flash and lights and will keep her head turned and her nose up in a very aloof pose.  And while this wasn't supposed to be - nor is it - a layout about the dog, I like the way interacting with the dog really relaxed Molly and showed one of her many good points (see journaling strip above. ☺)

Here's a tiny tip for portrait photography:
The key to a good portrait is a relaxed subject.  It's your job as the person behind the camera to help them relax.  Think about what makes you tense when someone is taking your picture...and solve those problems for your subject.  Don't just hide behind the lens - talk to them. Make a crack if you can, and if you have to adjust your camera tell them you need a minute.  Most people don't mind waiting, but they don't want to hold that "picture pose" longer than they need to.  And here's what I started this to say: Most people don't know what to do with their hands and feel self conscious about them...you know...just hanging there all dead fish-like.  ;)  Even if their hands aren't going to be in the shot, giving them something to hold - even just a glass or a bottle of water - solves a problem and helps them relax.  The whole upper body becomes more natural once the hands have a purpose.

Thanks for stopping by today!

Oh! And if you're regular in these parts, I'm happy to report that I got a 91% on my calc final and an 84% on my modern geometry final, and A's in both classes.  w00t!!  And now I get to relax (sort of) until the summer session starts on May 21st.

Just plain CUTE

Have I mentioned I'm really not a card maker?
Have I mentioned I'm not actually much of a card giver?
My heart is as big as Montana, but I suck in that particular regard.

Maybe if I have a stack of cute little cards ready to go, that will change?
We'll see.

This is using the Fabulous line from Simple Stories.  Have I mentioned I ♥♥♥ those birdies? Oh, boy do I!

I love making round cards.  You know how you think you've invented something and then you start to see it everywhere and realize that you didn't, you just came to the realization at the same time as a bunch of other people?  I think that's the way it is for me and circle cards.  I swear I never saw them before I made my first one a couple of years ago, but I see them enough to know I wasn't the inventor.  But I like to pretend I did.  I think it's fun, and just different enough, and yet totally easy.  I made my by cutting "conjoined" circles on my Cameo, but before I figured out how to do that I'd just fold my cardstock and run it through my Revolution on a circle die, with the fold just inside the blade.

What do you think about that envelope?  I think it's kinda cute!  I cut it from regular old printer paper, because I didn't want any extra bulk and it's not like I'm concerned about how long it'll hang around...it's a card...it'll be in the trash two weeks from now. :P

So that's today's "That's that."  Brought to you by Cord Camera Scrapbook Studio.

Creative Procrastination :)

I have a Modern Geometry final tomorrow and I really should be trying to make sense of my notes and some really complex processes.  But yeah...I need a break.

So I thought I'd share one of the things that I made for Scrapbook Studio.  I was asked to play with Simple Stories "Fabulous."  It is unrealistic to think that I will love all the lines that I'm asked to play with, and some I won't even like.  This one fell into the "not love" category.  Because I'm prone to over-thinking just about everything I tried to pinpoint what the sticking point was for this line.  Turns out that the creamy base is what holds me back from loving this - and most of the Simple Stories lines.  But every person who, like me, would prefer a white base, there's probably an equal number (if not more), who think the cream is easier to work with.

The funny thing is, I decided to just forge ahead with the white backgrounds.  Maybe it's wrong but it worked for me.  I'm pleased with the results.

Here's the layout I made with it:

That's my daughter Maggie (on the outside) and her BFF Tessa. I took their senior portraits and these are a couple that we did together.  Converting the pics to black and white made it a easier to with the line - their clothes didn't match the papers, but I think the line has a fun, young feel that perfectly matches these girls.

What??!  That technique again?  What am I trying to pull?

Yep.  I love it.  And in real life it's even neater looking.

And while may not have loved the line, these little birds? I'd spring for a whole sheet of them.  I think they're absolutely adorable!

And we've seen this done a gajillion times, but it's actually a first for me.  But definitely not a last.  Two stickers layered on top of each other the top one bent up and powdered (to make the sticker not sticky) and held in place with a Tim Holtz Tiny Attacher staple.  By the way, if you haven't sprung for one of those, you need to.  Part embellishment, part problem solver, part adhesive alternative. All cool. ;)






So that's that for today.  I really need to get back to pretending to study.  Those Betrami-Poincare thingees aren't going to solve themselves.  Sweet baby Jesus, I really dislike this class.  But come this time tomorrow it'll be nothing more than an unpleasant memory. :P

Thanks for stopping by!

'Tis the season!

(To rack your brains for fun/appropriate/affordable teacher gifts)

It's that time of year to express our thanks to the teachers that put up with educate our rambunctious darling children.  I kid, I kid with the crossed out words - I actually think my kids are pretty swell.  However, I've chaperoned enough field trips to know that those kids exist.  And if my kid were that kid my end-of-the-year teacher gift would be a Sam's Club sized bottle of Advil.

Fortunately, having well behaved kids allows me to get a little more creative with my gift giving:

I know a lot of people poo-poo practical gifts.  I am not one of them.  I would rather give you a really nice pizza cutter that gets used once a week and saves you frustration than give you a ceramic tchotchke that you have to dust.

  Molly recently brought home a note from school saying that the kids had pretty much consumed all their consumables.  I.e., they were all out of pencils and crayons and glue sticks, and hey, wouldn't it be nice if you sent some more in, cuz hey, it is their education that we're talking about here.

That got me to thinking about how much teachers need to share with kids.  And how, I imagine, it's less "sharing" than "giving."

So my gift isn't fun.  It's not a Starbucks gift card.  It's not premium chocolate.  It's not a bottle of OPI nail polish with a clever note attached saying "Hey, you really nailed it this year!"  (hmmmm)  But it's practical.  And it will get used.  And it's pretty derned cute.









I mean seriously.  Check them out:

I guess maybe it's the math-nerd in me, but these black Dixon Ticonderoga pencils are fabulous.  They write well, sure, but they're so sleek.  I hear I look 10 pounds slimmer when I write with them.  ;)

At any rate, this is just a juice can wrapped in Lily Bee Design paper, with a chunky eyelet border cut from (more) Lily Bee Design paper, using the Cameo. (I didn't really need to mention that, did I?)  The tops of the pencils are wrapped in yet more LBD paper, but they're only a little bigger than an inch long.  I thing the 6x6 pad of paper would be perfect for getting a nice variety.  Because I know better than to trust adhesive on a curved surface like that, the colorful baker's twine from WeRMemoryKeepers is doing double duty - looking cute AND holding the paper in place/down.  Oh wait! It's doing triple duty! It's also holding the little tags down.  They were mass cut on the Cameo and have V stickers from the LBD alpha letter sticker sheet.  I'm not going to lie: I'm glad the teacher getting this is Ms. Vidmar and not Ms. Smith, Ms. Thompson, or Ms. Martin.  I don't mind giving up all my Vs, but for any of those other names we might have to exploring a stamping options. ;)

And in the interest of full disclosure, the picture shown above isn't complete.  The label wouldn't stay put. I tried wrapping it in twine for a could of days - I hoped to let the adhesive 'set', and maybe make the paper less resistant to the curve, but it just didn't work.  No biggie though.  I used my Crop-o-Dile to make some small holes at the widest part of the label and added some small brads.  Now I feel confident that the label is there to stay.

I'm really pleased with the way this came together.  It wasn't a speedy project - it probably took an hour and a half to wrap the pencils, but in the end I think it was worth it.  It's cute and practical and I know it'll get used.

I'm not making them for all the teachers though.  So I better start hunting down some new ideas.  Got any thoughts to help a sister out? ;)

Handmade, Part I

This past month I had the great pleasure of being assigned three different lines to create with for Scrapbook Studio.  Lest that sound like sarcasm: it is not.  Apparently, I am the dweebie girl who loved school so much that using the word assignment gets me all a-tither.  So getting three lines to work with was, in a word, AWESOME.  I'll share as I can, and I can't until they get posted at Scrapbook Studio's blog.  I suppose you could bypass my blog and just check out the projects there, but I'll have a couple of extra views and talk a little about the process and hurdles of the layout process. So yeah, maybe you just want to check out their blog, instead. :P

And while I'm plugging for them, I feel compelled to mention: If you are even remotely considering a Cameo purchase, NOW IS THE TIME.  I don't know how long it will last, but right now it's on sale for $269.99.  I am not a fan of paying full price for anything, but in all honesty, I think the Cameo is so worth it that I would...except why would you if you could get it on sale.  It rarely happens, so I'd hop on that while the hopping is good.

If, on the other hand, you already have a Cameo and just want to get your dander up, I'll direct you to episode 110 of Paperclipping Roundtable: Clash of the Die Cutting Machines. I left a comment, and let me just say that it took a couple of delete-and-rewrites before I managed to get the tone in the general neighborhood of civil.  I don't know why, but hearing people say not-nice things about the Cameo really upsets me. :P

So anyway, back to me. One of the lines that I had the pleasure of playing with was Lilybee Designs "Handmade".  The line has that old country feel that makes you think of spring quilts that your grandmother would make.  Reds, pale blues, pinks, yellows and a couple of pale linens.  I don't have a country aesthetic, but it's impossible to not love this particular combination of colors and prints.

Here's the layout I made with it:

First: I don't know what happened.  I used to HATE white backgrounds and for some reason I've done a couple 180 on that.  I love them. I think the white versatile and clean.  And I love that the Handmade collection has a white base.  Makes using it on white that much easier.  The collection pack has a whole bunch of heavy weight double sided patterned papers, as well as Lilybee's signature little alphas (Yay! Adore those!) and then a sheet of fun cardstock stickers with the banners that I used here.  I'm guilty of loving banners.  I know they're ubiquitous, but I don't care.  Love, plain and simple.

Of course, there's lots of Cameo love going on here: the pretty blue border on the left side, the tab, the journaling banner on the bottom, and the title:

Yes, I'm going to unapologetically beat this technique to death.  And every time I show it I'll give Nichol Magouirk credit.  I have been using one color all stacked up just for height, but I'm digging this variation using two colors.  Makes me so happy to see that color peeking out.  :)

And then here's the card I made using the line:

First, I accidentally left the Cameo off my supply list when I sent this to my design team boss. OOPS.  But I did use it - the perfectly perfect red scalloped square and the adorable fish-tail banners are both from the Silhouette store, cut on the Cameo.  And of course the adorable Lilybee letter stickers.  I love that you get SO MANY letters and such a variety of fun colors.  Those sticker sheets are such a fantastic value.  And again: the colors and designs of the paper are just so darned happy.  The card is so simple and the easy shapes and colors carry the day.

So that's that for today.  I've got one more project to share from this line.  Let's just say I'm saving the best for last.

So humor me here: What's your feeling on base cardstock colors?  Do you tend to reach for the same thing over and over?  Do you hate black or white?  Or do you use patterned paper as a base?  And if you use patterned paper as a base, do you have cardstock underneath as fortification, or do you just trust the page protectors to do their job?

Manaña...

Tomorrow I will do a real blog post.  Fo shizzle.

In the meantime, here's a sneaky of what's on the table today:

I ♥ days off where I get to play!