Ugly Sketch 1-15: 4 Winter

I feel tremendous pressure to have a catchy first line with all the spelling, grammar and punctuation correct.  You see, this first line (as well as the first image) gets posted on my Facebook timeline as soon as I hit the "Publish" button.  While the rest of the post can fade away in anonymity, that first line (and image) might actually get seen.  That's a lot of pressure.

At any rate, it's the 15th of the month and I've got my Ugly Sketch layout to share:

It's funny how looking at the jpg version of these adds a new perspective.  This is true to the sketch, yes, but seeing it now, I'd like to have something to ground the three journaling blobs.  Or maybe just moving that bottom one up would help.  Hmmm.  

And here's the original sketch for comparison:

I'll be honest. This is an awful sketch. You don't have to be a really great scrapbooker to see that. But it's a start, right?  I'm sort of impressed with how well the actual layout turned out in spite of the sketch. 

And yet, still...those arrows still bug me.

Here's the sketch for March 1st:

I think this sketch has better bones.  :)

I used a stylus that we sell for drawing this - made it SO much easier to control.  Trying to do this with just my chubby finger made me question my fine motor skills.  This isn't exactly high art here, but at least it wasn't as frustrating as last month's was.

That border isn't supposed to be crooked, but I like it.  Expect to see that tilt exaggerated in the actual layout.

Last night Ted (my 14 year old) found out I have a blog.  It's not that I was hiding it, but I usually work on it late at night or occasionally from work between customers.  So he was scrolling through quickly, and asked with the most sincere incredulity "Mom, you wrote all that?!" and when I nodded yes he said laughingly "You're such a nerd!"  I love my kids. :P

So in the interest of staying wordy and nerdy, I have one more thing to add today.

Same layout, taken with two different cameras. The reason I'm putting them side by side and showing them to you is I wanted to talk a minute about barrel distortion.  The picture on the left was taken with a Nikon P7000, which is a top of the line point and shoot camera.  It retailed for $500.  It's my "pocket" camera - although nothing I own has pockets big enough for it, it's only a pocket camera when compared to my D7000.  And honestly, I love this camera.  The color in the left hand picture is actually truer than the colors in the picture on the right.  But what I wanted to point out was the way the picture on the left bows out in the middle.  It the photography world, that's referred to as barrel distortion, and you can see why - the sheet of cardstock here has a distinct whiskey barrel shape to it.  The distortion exists in most non-telephoto lenses, to some degree or another, at some focal lengths.  In more 'real world' shooting instances you'd have a harder time noticing it, but trying to take pictures of something that is very straight and rectangular - it's hard to hide that imperfection.  But look at the picture on the right.  I'm at work today, and I threw my P7000 in my bag to take this picture here (my store has really beautiful natural light), but I just couldn't get the layout to flatten out in Photoshop.  So I decided to reshoot it with one of the store's cameras.  I picked up the D600 because it has the Tamron 24-70 lens on it.  To be honest, I'm not in love with the D600 - it has one feature that just makes me batty.  But I am in love with the Tamron 24-70 lens, and this shot shows why.  Look at how straight those edges are!  Both shots are straight out of the camera with the exception of levels correction (to correct the exposure) and cropped in as you see here - but no attempt was made to 'fix' the barrel distortion on either.  I think that the one on the right is fantastic.

And here's an interesting tidbit. I have no idea how these images look to you (dear reader) color-wise. I just calibrated my monitor less than a week ago.  (That's a lie. My personal IT and manfriend calibrated it less than a week ago, while performing many magic tricks that healed my computer of several deadly diseases)  As I sit here and look at the images above, I'm not overly impressed with the color on either.  The one on the right appears to be too blue, the one on the left appears too green.  In both cases I did a custom white balance reading before taking the pictures - I'm kind of a stickler about that.  So that neither color is what I think it should be - that's very disappointing to me.  I turned my computer so that my fellow coworker (and fellow camera nerd) and explained my findings to her. She responded with "I think the one on the right is truer to the real life colors."  When I adjusted my monitor for her viewing angle she said "Oh, yeah, now I see the blue green difference!"  But when I turned it back and changed the angle for me, I put it at yet a different angle, wherein the one  on the right looked amazingly accurate. This digital stuff is tricky!

BTW, that Tamron 24-70 f/2.8 lens?  A bargain at $1200.  

love u.

Have you noticed? Today is Valentine's Day.  It's everywhere.  Love and hearts and pink and red and flowers and chocolate and all things romance.

I'm not with m'honey today.  He's sort of busy today. :)  And that's a good thing.  But I did mail him a card - which is CRAZY, because I am horrible about actually putting things in the mail. But I digress.

It's simple.  It's guy friendly. It's graphic. 

I love the scripty love word.  Love.

And the inside? I like that.  I made it - which isn't rocket science or anything.  But I'm not super creative, so the idea of putting those words with the arrow and welding together feels like whoa, I'm a design genius. :P  Not really, but I like to pretend.

And now, I have to dash.  It's Ian's (my oldest) birthday, and dinner is just about ready.  Thanks for stopping by.  Check back in the next day or two for the ugly sketch layout.

Laters!

Music Videos...against my better judgement

Maggie asked for a mix CD for Christmas.  I can't adequately express how cool it is to have a teenager say that they like your offbeat taste in music so much that they want it (period) or enough to make it a Christmas gift. The one I made for her is my favorite ever (that I've made) and it went over very well - Maggie really liked it, too, which of course made me very happy.

In honor of the Grammy's tonight I'm going to share as many of the videos here as I can.  I haven't watched them all.  This maybe a bad idea.  But I have seen some, and they're catchy, funny, well made...so we'll hope for the best on the others.

Disclaimer: This is a mix made for a 19 year old.  There's some inappropriate language...namely a bunch of f-bombs.  Oops.  Turn back now if that offends.


Skylar Grey: C'mon Let Me Ride

Sam and the Womp: Bom Bom 

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis: Thrift Shop

The Avett Brothers: Kick Drum Heart

Philip Philips: Home

Mumford and Sons: I Will Wait

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis: Same Love

The White Stripes: My Doorbell

Stephen Lynch: Beelz

Chrisette Michele: Best of Me

Imagine Dragons: It's Time

Flo Rida: I Cry

Pop Danthology 2012

Passion Pit: Take a Walk

Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros: Home

This isn't the exact order.  And boy, I do believe that matters.  But alas, &%$# iTunes jumbled up as soon as I burned it.  Goofy iTunes.  At any rate,  I hope you heard a song or two you liked.  Or at the very least,  you don't think less of me for my goofy taste in music that might have some naughty language in it. 

Thanks for stopping by.  It's the 10th, so I'll have an ugly sketch-inspired layout for you at the end of the week.  Laters!

What I see

There she is.  Ugly Sketch 1-15: 2-1. This isn't my favorite so far.  I think there's something about doing layouts about men that requires that you reign it in, no frou-frou, colors have to be muted, embellishments kept to a minimum.  I think that part of my issue here is what you don't see - we were shooting at Squire's Castle and we were up to our knees in snow.  So for a solid hour I was dinking around with white background paper, light blue patterned paper, snow flakes...and none of that looked right with the picture.  For the second hour, I got sucked into watching The Unite States of Tara on Netflix, so solving the pressing what-paper-to-use dilemma faded off into the distance.  Eventually I snapped to and came up with the combo you see here.  The weird misting on the bottom is my nod to the wintry mix you don't see in the picture.  The next dilemma was the title.  I had already set myself on "What I see" but for some reason I was stuck on cursive.  And not just a handwriting type script, but scroll-y and flowing and formal.  Yeah. That did not work. I finally occurred to me that I needed to bring it down a notch.  I need to find some good, but casual handwriting cursive fonts.  And then I need a way to organize them, so I'm not wasting so much time looking for what I've got in mind.  If you have suggestions for that, or want to point me in the direction of a blog post or pin that could help me with that, by all means, leave me a comment.

Boy. These things just keep getting uglier and uglier. Yikes.

The thought here is that the three squares are Instagram shots.  The rectangles are corresponding journalling boxes, and the arrows are way to connect which picture goes with which box.

I might need to look into a way of making these a little less ugly and a little more accurate at conveying what I'm thinking.  But to be honest, this is meant to be quick and dirty, I'm not looking for a book deal, just something that keeps me scrapping a little here and there.



Looks like I'll see you in a couple of weeks.
Unless I manage to do something share worthy before then.  I've kind of got a hankering to do a mustard stain t-shirt...haven't been able to shake that thought. Maybe one of these days...

Looking outside.

I'm having a hard time lately. January has been one long, unwelcome emoticoaster ride. And I want off.  I've had some highs, but mostly I've had some low-low lows.

But here's the one thing that you can count on: when you look outside yourself and do something nice for someone else, it boosts you.  There's no denying - making someone else smile makes you smile.  Scheming to make someone smile puts a spring in your step for days.

Maggie is off at school. Valentine's Day is coming, and it seems the proper thing to do is to send off a little package full of love.  As luck would have it, Maggie sent me a text last week saying "Um, can you send me the spare car key?" Perfect! Now I have a deadline and an excuse.  I'd already begun gathering the supplies, but it's no fun saying "I'm sending you a surprise package, so check your  mailbox."  (Problem with kids these days is that they don't get snail mail, so there's no reason to check their mailboxes.)  So yay! "I'm sending the key, but also a pair of socks and gloves that you left here" - perfect upgrade from envelope-with-key to an actual package.

I made a mobile out of cardstock.  There's no good picture of it, because it was flipping impossible.  But, here's a little show and tell, maybe it'll make sense.

This is the ring that everything hangs from.  It's just two concentric circles with holes in it for the string to tie into.   If you look closely one of those circles is an oval.  Here's why.  I cut out six of these circles and used spray adhesive to stack them together.  When you do this, paper becomes very stiff and stable - perfect for bearing a little weight.  The oval is so that when I stack them all together I can line it up properly and get it exact.

From there I cut loads and loads of hearts and keys and "I♥u"s and "love" words from red, black, white and pink. The keys, i♥u and love were all at the bottoms of the mobile.  I cut them a bunch of times each and stacked them with spray adhesive so make them good and strong.  I tied the string around them and then layered hearts up the strings in randomly and tied the other end of the string onto the mobile's ring.  From there, I added some string to the top for hanging.  To be honest, that was the only hard part - I'm not certain I tied it perfectly straight, so it hangs a wee bit wonky, but it's okay.

So there's the best shot I could get, complete with the cheesy late 80's wallpaper that's in my scraproom.  Don't hate.  ;)

The string is from a massive thing of baker's twine I got from Crate and Barrel years ago.  It's going to last me a hundred years. Bonus: it cost $8.99.  Random craft score there!

It's become a fun tradition for the kids to find a little Valentine treat on the morning of the 14th.  I absolutely adore the fun Valentine's things at Target.  So I usually pick up some tumblers or bowls to fill with candy.  Maggie won't be here this year, so her cup had to be mummified in plastic wrap to hold everything in place.  Down at the bottom there's a big Hershey's Kiss, then it's layered with holiday M&Ms, Hershey's hearts, kisses and conversation hearts, topped with more kisses.  And a big box of Red Hots and a bag of Twizzlers Pull'n'Peels, just for good measure.  I sincerely hope this candy lasts for a long time, otherwise I'll have to send her new jeans to celebrate St. Patty's Day.





All I know is this: as crappy as my week was, making that mobile and packing up these treats and standing in line at the post office made me HAPPY.  And getting a "YOU ROCK" text today along with a picture of the mobile hanging in her dorm - perfect bliss.

Ugly Sketch 1-15 Project: 2

So pleased to have stuck with it.  Yes, I realize I did a layout, it's not like I'm dieting and exercising or even pinching pennies any more than usual.  So to say "I've stuck with it" elicits an eye roll even from me.  But it's winter and I feel blaaaaah, and sometimes on my day off I just want to stay in bed all day and even something as enjoyable as cutting and pasting cardstock is more than I want to do.

The photos on this are "3x5" - which are actually 3.5x5.  On an 8.5x11 layout, that means that the areas to the right of the top photo and to the left of the bottom photo are exactly 3.5 square.  I thought that would be kind of cool, because there are tons of square shapes in the Silhouette store.  At least I thought.  And of the ones that I found, some weren't theme appropriate and some wouldn't have cut right when sized that small.  So instead of having a huge selection like I thought, I had maybe 10 or so to chose from.  I'm not in love with the combination that I have here -- I've used the leaf one before and loved it, but the chunkiness of it juxtaposed with the more delicate fishtail lace - if just doesn't feel like it jives to me.  And in retrospect I might have cut that fishtail lace in one of two other colors and used the negative pieces to fill a couple of random holes on this, just to make it a little more modern and funky feeling.

I do love the title though, which is straight from the Silhouette store with no alterations except sizing it down to fit my needs.  It's funky and fresh and very Molly who declares way-too-many-things as being "awesome."  I also like that I was able to use the awesome word in the journaling - I think it lends a little cohesion to the page.

Not quite where I stand on the bird, which actually has a thematic tie in to the day (although, it's not mentioned or seen on the page at all), but the beak gets lost on the picture and it seems a little "out there."  But I'm not fussing with it at this point, just doing the 'what-if' post mortem, which is probably better suited to exams and hands of euchre and not scrapbook pages.

The only other take-away that I have is that I wasn't (am not) fond of the way the photos are positioned here.  It took a fair amount of will power to stick to the essence of the sketch.  And it's a sketch, it's not like I have to be literal about it, but by the same token, if I monkey with it too much I'm not doing what I set out to do - which is to save time and emotional effort in the layout process.  I'm just trying to eliminate one set of choices so as to make the scrapbooking process less cumbersome.

Here's the sketch I'll be cursing for February 1st:

My intention is to use a panoramic-y sort of picture on the page.  Do I have a panoramic-y picture in mind?  Nope.  Heck, I'm not even certain I have a picture that's suited to that kind of crop.  But we'll see.  And I'll wrestle it into submission one way or the other.

Thanks for stopping by.

Buffalo Chicken Dip

No. This is NOT going to turn into a a recipe blog.

Last year I stumbled on this recipe for Buffalo Chicken Dip that was amazing.  It's a feat of simplicity and yet horribly addicting.  I bookmarked it. I pinned it. I revisited it several times.

And then it was gone.

**POOF**

And I'm not going to lie.  It sort of caused me to panic. I spent a couple of hours searching other recipes and every one just seemed a little off.  As luck would have it, the manfriend had a print out of the recipe on his fridge from last year.

Let's hear it for pack rats! ☺

And since the original link has vanished, I'm just going to put it in here, where I know it'll be safe. I hope.

Ingredients:
8 oz. package of cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup ranch dressing
1/2 cup Frank's Red Hot
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella
2 to 3 whole chicken breast

Directions:
Boil chicken; cool; shred
Heat oven to 350º
In baking dish, stir cream cheese til smooth.
Mix in ranch dressing, Frank's and cheese.
Stir in Chicken
Bake 20 minutes.

Stir and serve with bagel chips, pretzel chips, celery...whatever strikes your fancy.

ETA: So far I've made this with frozen chicken tenders (cooked and shredded), canned chicken and today I made it with a rotisserie chicken.  By far, I prefer the chicken tenders or rotisserie chicken over the canned chicken.  The rotisserie chicken was easier, but it's hard to resist the lure of eating the skin, which is pretty awful for you.  I doubled the recipe and used two full chickens today and that's just too much meat.  So I think if you're going to use a rotisserie chicken, maybe use 3/4 of the white meat...and maybe up the ranch and mozzarella to make the texture just right.  But as far as "mistakes" go, this is still pretty darned tasty!

Ugly Sketch 1-15 Project: 1

There is something triumphant in saying "I'm going to do this" (whatever this may be) and then (*gasp*) actually doing it.

Guess what? I actually did it.
(*gasp*)

<=== So this is the first sketch in the Ugly Sketch 1-15 Project.  

Pretty ugly, huh?  I prefer to think of it as...rough.

But who cares, right? Not like I'm getting graded or anything.

It's just a launching off point.  And frankly, I'm really pleased with where I landed, and I'm not going to lie - it was fun. There was nothing that was pulling me on this but me.  Not a supply list or a time line, just a self made sketch.  It was a blast.

I'm posting a little early.  Not quite certain what my New Year's plans are yet.  And it just doesn't seem to be a big deal to let the proverbial cat out of the bag a couple days early. 

And because it was so fun doing this one, I've already come up with the Ugly Sketch for the 15th (which may or may not be posted on the 15th, but hopefully somewhere close to the 15th):

First, let me just say how much I hate blogger: GAH! I hate blogger! I'd accuse it of being the least friendly user interface EVER, but that's just not true. Plus, it's flipping free, so I can't go exaggerating about it.  But I do not like it, Sam I am!

Ok, that said, there's the Ugly Sketch 1-15 for January 15th.  Do I have something in mind for it? Nope. Does that concern me? Not at all.  Will it be a masterpiece when I'm done with it? You bet your life it will be! ;)

Thanks for stopping by! I'll see you in a week or (more likely) two. ☺

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

The Ugly Sketch 1-15 Project

I've known for a long time that I love to scrapbook, but I don't because of a few factors.  Time is always a factor, for me and just about everyone I know.  It lacks urgency, and by that I mean it takes a backseat to everything else that is of higher priority or less "hard".  So schoolwork always trumps scrapbooking because it's higher up the priority food chain, but Real Housewives tends to win because watching t.v. requires less effort.  I really wish I had a t.v. in my scrap area.  Sigh...  And the last really big factor is: I'm overwhelmed.  I have too much stuff and I don't know where to begin.  Too many choices just leads me to paralysis.  Even when I'm really itching to scrap, I tend to sit down at my table and fuss around for an hour or two and then walk away because - with so many decisions to make, I hadn't gotten anywhere.

I've also known for a long time that scrapbooking (or papercrafting in general) adds a balance to my life that I really need.  Somehow playing with paper and the hum of my Silhouette allows me to shift focus from my inside shit storm to nothing but calm and pretty and happy memories.  And so when I'm "too busy" to scrapbook I miss it, and I'm probably a bit bitchier without it, too.

This morning I was playing with my phone. I was writing myself a note about some last minute Christmas items that I needed to address.  I've had the phone for a while, but the note feature is something that I haven't used much - it just hasn't seemed as intuitive as what I was used to.  But Shazam! It's actually pretty cool.

I'm getting to a point. Really.

Recently I've been questioning why I bother with this blog.  If I don't write regularly, it seems sort of pointless.  But then I realize how much enjoyment I get from scrolling through the pages. I like having a portable reference.  It's like a mobile, public picture diary.  I don't want to give it up, but it's not a high priority item.  What it needs, it occurred to me, is a project. A reason to post.

Hmmm.
Too many choices.
But wanting to scrap.
A note feature on the phone.
Needing a project.

Introducing (insert sad drum roll here): The Ugly Sketch 1-15 Project

See why I call it ugly? It's ug.ly. But that's ok. It also took about 30 seconds to do.  And if it were pretty it would have taken longer, and then I'd quit. And you don't need pretty for a sketch, right? It's just a launching off point.  

I have no photos in mind, no products or theme...But already I've made decisions.  It's 8.5x11.  It has two smaller photos.  It has some journaling.  But from there, I have wiggle room.  I like a little room for flexibility.

And the 1-15 part? I will post a layout on the first and fifteen of the month.  I'm not answering to anyone but me, but by saying this right now, I've made a commitment.  Now, granted, a commitment to myself is going to be the first one to be ditched if things get bad, but the hope is there.  And two layouts a month seems doable.  And because these aren't for others, it's not like they have to be masterpieces.  I'm excited to have a reason and a direction and not a whole lot of pressure.  I hope this will be fun.  Because dear sweet baby Jesus, I need a little fun right about now. 

Check back.  I'll have something for you on 1-1-13.

100th 3rd

When I first moved to Ohio, several things baffled me.  I don't know why, but I've been thinking about it for a while now.  And I've been thinking that I'd really like to make a layout about some of the weird differences there are in the different places I've lived.  That thought is brewing.

Close to the top of the list will be Fifth Third Bank.  You don't have to be Math Girl to know that that just doesn't makes sense.  It took me a while to settle in, and since I'm not one to socialize it took me several months before I was finally able to ask someone about the bank's name without looking like a blithering idiot.  Turns out it came from the bank mergers of the Fifth National Bank of Cincinnati and the Third National Bank of Cincinnati.  I guess that makes sense, but 12½ years later it still makes me screw up my face when I drive past their branches.

So 100th 3rd?  Well, today is a semi big day around here.  This is my 100th post and the third anniversary of my blog.  I suppose that it's not really that big of a deal, but it is to me, sort of.  I started this blog when my life was in the midst of some big changes.  In the June of 2009 my ex-husband lots his job.  The economy was still in the throes of what no one wanted to label a recession.  He was unemployed for a total of 11 months.  In September he came to me and asked if I would move into his house with our kids so he could move in with his brother in Pennsylvania and work at his hedge fund company.  He had hopes that he could learn a new line of work, get out of the manufacturing industry and tread water until selling his house made more sense.  Naturally, the idea of getting to be the full time mom to my kids was something I jumped at. But the rest? Uh...no.  Live in my ex-husband's house? Weird. At best.  My nearly 100 mile daily round trip commute to a job that I didn't like? Expensive.  And heading into winter? With my crappy car? Dangerous. And little things like the fact that I had just signed a one year lease with my apartment complex and they wouldn't let me out.  And of course, there's also a relationship to consider.  How crappy a girlfriend are you when you say "Listen. Really dig you. But I'm gonna move into my ex-husband's house"?  As luck would have it, that may have been a mixed blessing for a number of reasons.  But that it is a whole other, really long, way too personal post. That's not going to happen.  But it has a happy ending, so the details aren't that important...

But I said yes and I moved. And I felt like a stranger with my kids for quite some time.  It's not that I didn't see them a lot when they lived with their dad, it's just that they had an entirely different routine at Dad's house than at Mom's apartment. And they were at "home" - I was the one in a strange land.  And dear God, did it feel strange.  Which is weird - it was filled with furniture and kitchenware and linens that I had purchased, but was no longer "mine." I felt like I was trespassing. I had to ask where things were, and I confined myself to my bedroom, the kitchen and the laundry room.

As luck would have it, I scored a new job, back in the camera industry - back where I felt comfortable and in my element.  It was closer to home - 20 miles away.  The boss was (is) fantastic. Accommodating, understanding, flexible.  I couldn't ask for a better work situation than what I have right now.  Lest I ever sound disgruntled, please know: I am not.  I feel lucky and blessed every day.  Oh please. Not every day....but most days. ;)

It took some time, everything settled into place.  I'd be lying if I said there weren't times that things still feel...weird.  Like, it's hard to explain this.  So a lot of time, I avoid talking about personal things with people who aren't already in "the know."  But on the whole, it's been wonderful.  I love that the kids are always HOME.  I leave on the weekends and spend time with Kerig, and Dad comes home - no more packing them up and disrupting their schedules.  I like cooking for them, and - oddly - doing their laundry and sending them to school in clothes that haven't been sitting crumpled in a laundry basket for a week.  I like over-seeing their homework, and even dishing out chores. I love being the mom, and I take that role seriously.  When I left, I asked their dad to keep them - he made more money, he had a 9 to 5, Monday thru Friday job. I didn't. It was in their best interest. But getting this chance to be with them has been a blessing.  For me, and I think, for them.

So this blog has seen me through a lot.  I started this shortly after I moved in his house. After the kids went to bed I'd be in my room.  Computer, internet, books...and still very bored.  I needed some kind of creative "thing" and I needed to give my head something to do.  I've been a fair weather friend, to be sure. But in my defense, it's been quite a ride. I've added more to my plate, and given my brain plenty to keep it occupied.  I've branched out in the house, and taken over the dining room and made it my scrap room.  But the blog has been a creative outlet, a way to share, a source of free therapy, a way to communicate my undying love for my Silhouette...

So...Happy Anniversary to me!

And because no blog post is complete without a picture, he's a REALLY old picture of Kerig and I.  Thanks, friend, for always being there for me, for graciously taking the back seat when necessary and being my rock. I think you're the best.

Snapshot of Today.

A post about absolutely nothing.

Gas: $3.14 (in Parma, but the average seems more like $3.30 in the area.)
Car: Nissan Rogue...Superblack.
Phone: Samsung Galaxy SIII.
Ringer: R. Kelly's Remix to Ignition.  Heard three times, including a wrong number at 12:38 am.
Alarm set for: 7:45
Commute: 25.4 miles/Half hour.
Work Day: 9:15-5:25, including teaching a Nikon class.
In-between: Calc homework: setting up and evaluating triple iterated integrals.
Listening to: NPR.  Election talk, Hurricane Sandy aftermath.  "On Taking Pictures" podcast.
Dinner: Brown Bag Burger (Voted best burger in Ohio by Kerig and Caroline)
Cost: $18.58
After dinner errand: Target for a light bulb for over the range.
Also: Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies with little bits of candy cane in the chocolate. Jury's still out.
Waiting for: Louis C.K. on Saturday Night Live
Fantasizing about: Having time to read a book without guilt.
Missing: My kid.
Wearing: big comfy Lakeland hoodie.
Weather: High: 44º, Low: 35º Grey, cloudy, occasional drizzle
Other points of note: 3 days til presidential election.  President Obama visited Mentor High School.
Picture:

(no actual tongue contact made. Surprise.)

Happy Halloween!

The manfriend said "You need to update your blog."

My response: "I know. But I'll just whine about school, and who wants to read that?"

Well, I'm going to update, and I'm going to address school, but I'm not going to whine about it. This time.  ;)

Things are...going.  Last week I had a doozy of a day.  I really bombed a quiz.  Like 10% bomb.  Ouch.  (Mind you, I'm not whining, just telling the story)  I handed in a nearly blank quiz sheet and spent the rest of the class silently wiping away tears of humiliation and stress and worry. After class I went home, cried some more (not so silently)(let's hear it for time and place appropriateness!) and then dug in.  Problem was, I had deprioritized that class to make room for a final in another.  I thought I understood a little, when it turns out I barely understood at all.  I was really scared that I had gotten myself so far behind that I was going to have a really difficult time catching up.  But here's what I like about me  (sometimes*): I decided to think about how I would help my kids in this situation, and then try to follow that advice. So while wallowing in my pity party and worrying that I'd never catch up, I decided that I was going to try to figure out what it was that I didn't understand.  If I could articulate what I didn't understand, at least I could walk into my professor's office with my head held high and say "I've tried to figure this out, but I can't make it click.  Would you mind explaining to me how to do xyz."  Because that's what I'd tell my kids to do.  (if in fact, their genius mother couldn't help them :P  ).  I spent the afternoon working homework problems, and getting one wrong after the next, but really paying attention to what it was that I was having issues with.  And then trying to think critically about it...instead of giving in to the urge to throw up my hands, give up, and take a nap.  And oh, how I love to take a nap!  Turns out that in trying to pinpoint what my issues were, I actually figured out what the heck I was doing wrong.  I decided that I would visit my professor the next morning anyway, and ask for clarification on a couple of more difficult problems.  It wouldn't hurt to have him shed some insight on those problems, and it certainly wouldn't hurt to show him "hey, I'm trying."  I spent a good portion of the weekend trying to get caught up entirely, and back to feeling good.  And Mother Nature/Sweet Baby Jesus were on my side, closing school on Tuesday (the next time that class met) due to the storm, which gave me a whole extra day to get right with calculus without piling on more stuff.  (Sometimes I think that's the hardest part - we move at a crazy fast pace, and if something doesn't 'click' into place right away, there's no pause before we move on to the next topic.)  So the purdy notecard is my "fresh start."  I'm making a new effort to take better notes, to make a card like that for each section we cover (to make homework easier, but also to help when exam time rolls around.)  And can I tell you? I have center of mass down cold.  See? I'm not whining.  This is my triumphant post about how a humbling experience turned into feeling all "Yay!" again. Yay!

This is a scrapbook/crafty/Silhouette-y/Cameo-y type of blog though, so I should also show:

Going back to my roots in uber-simplicity, and featuring American Crafts Pumkin Patch.  I have a couple of pictures from this day that I really love, and yet I haven't told the story about getting her ears pierced.  But this wasn't the time - this is just that smile... No cheese, not forced, not fake.  That's 100% real, honest, happy.  And that's all that needed to be said.  

I do have some other stuff in the wings. 

Like:

  And:

Oh! And I wanted to share one more thing.  I take my writing implements VERY seriously. I find something I like and I stick to it and I love it to death.  So I buy my Bic Round Stics by the case, and guard my GraphGear1000 by Pentel with my life. I like my Sharpies sharp and in every shade for notes to the kids and coworkers - they say "Hey, I'm in a fun color, but don't tell her you didn't see me!" And for my notecards (like above)  I am absolutely, positively head over heals in love with: 

Which can be found at Amazon: Staedtler Triplus Fineliner felt tip pens.  Love them. A lot.

And with that, I'm going to sign off.  I hope everyone is safe and dry! Thanks for stopping by!

Hypocritical Cow!

Or holy cow, if you're not familiar with my auto-correct.

It's been a month since my last visit.  And because this is as close to a diary as I have, I'm going to address you, but talk about things that might only be important to me.

It's been a month.  This whole process is testing me.  Pushing me to my limits and challenging me to throw in the towel.  I thought the summer was hard.  Oh, dear GOD, was it.  So hard.  But somehow juggling 3 classes, 11 credits isn't much easier.  I have elevated time management to a religion.  Times like these feel like venial sins.  Forgivable, but still, these moments of unwisely used time mar the surface of hard work.  They make me think: "you aren't working as hard as you could be..."  Never mind I've traded working late for getting up early.  Never mind that I'm so fried that opening a book wouldn't actually do any good anyway. I'm not working: sin.   Ugh.  Sometimes that Catholic upbringing haunts you in ways that you never could have foreseen.

Right now I'm taking three classes.  Calc III. Linear Algebra. Statistics.  Statistics is online, and not...er...how should I say this? It's not a "real" math class.  For a math major in a 'real' school, statistics has a basis in Calculus.  It's a royal pain in the ass.  I took both Statistics and Probability as two classes the first time around. I remember hating them.  This time it's just statistics, and it's the version that psychology majors take. And nursing students and the like.  I'm not knocking what they do, because I can't do it, but it's not the calculus based class that I remember. And I'm thankful for that.  Although, I'm taking it online, and it's entirely self taught. Read the book, take the practice quizzes, take the test, post on forum.  It's time consuming.  And frankly, I'd be mortified to get anything less than an A in a class that isn't really a math class.  Which means I put even more time into it.  The upside is, the class is only 8 weeks long and we're on week 5.  The bonus upside is that I've actually completed all the work for week 5.  Three more to go, baby.

Calc III is easier than Calc II.

LOLOLOLOLOL

Calc III is NOT easier than Calc II, but Dr. Stitz isn't quite as hard as as Prof. Smolko.  And he cracks jokes.  On Tuesday he spent 5 minutes setting up the opportunity to say z-rho (the Greek letter).  There's something so stress relieving about laughing in class.  He gives these insanely hard take home problems but has office hours from noon to 2 every day.  I'm a Tuesday regular now.  He wrote a test that he thought would take us an hour. It took us 3.  I respect Prof Smolko, but it was almost as if he went out of his way not to connect with us.  Dr. Stitz likes us.  It's not easier, but it's different.  Challenging, but somehow doable because of the accessibility of the professor.  I'll be happy to cross it  off my to-do list, but I'm sort of enjoying the process, as well.

Linear Algebra is just going to be a mess.  After a fiasco and several hours on the phone with Notre Dame, at times being extremely strong yet diplomatic, I managed to un-enroll in Notre Dame's Linear Algebra and joined Lakeland's class.  By the time I got there, I'd missed three classes, but with a ton of work, I managed to catch up.  And somehow I still don't understand a damn thing. :P  I took this class at Immaculata and it was it my favorite class.  We studied it from a super practical perspective.  Yeah. They don't do that any more.  Now they go out of their way to be abstract. Yay! Only...not at all. I've actually discovered that MIT has a Linear Algebra class online.  Seriously.  I can watch an MIT professor teach Linear Algebra.  That's pretty friggen cool when you think about it.  Also, it's sort of lucky for my professor...since he sort of sucks. :P

So that's been the last month.  Lots and lots of reading and problem working and stress. Oh, dear sweet baby, the STRESS.

And I have this gig.  I'm supposed to be making kick ass layouts based on sketches for Cord Camera and Scrapbook Studio but that is suffering like crazy.  But I'll tell you what.  There was  a day a couple of weeks ago where I just couldn't take it anymore.  I had a little window of opportunity to use about two hours any way I saw fit.  Truly, I probably should have worked a couple of extra problems, but I had this very cool paper from Bella Blvd from their Birthday Boy collection.  And nothing makes more feisty than telling me what a line is to be used for.  What do you mean "Birthday BOY"?

That there is a birthday page about a girl. And it works.  So there, Bella Blvd!
What really slays me about this page is the fact that it came together in the two hours I had allotted, and that included hemming and hawing on the font for "july" and some paper choices.  I love that everything from Bella Blvd works together seamlessly without that blah grrranimals feel.

And to my friend and DT coordinator, Stephanne: I hope I'm not stressing you out too badly. And THANK YOU so much for being as flexible as you've been.  You have no idea how much that means to me. You're the best.

Passions

ETA: It's come to my attention that if you're viewing this entry on Internet Explorer there's a pretty sizable gap between the double yellow line shot and the honey dipper shot below it.  That gap doesn't exist in Chrome or Firefox.  This is my formal invitation to you: C'mon over. Download Chrome.  All the cool kids are doing it.  You won't regret it, I promise.
Carry on.

Today I spent about an hour and a half of my day talking to a 70 year old woman who was dancing with the idea of buying a new lens.  Her kit lenses, she said, weren't sharp enough.  They didn't impress her.  She had spent a good deal of time doing research but admitting that she really didn't understand everything that she read, and she was still new to digital SLR photography. We talked for a long time, we unraveled her wants and her want-nots, we deciphered some lingo, we walked outside and took some pictures. She was so appreciative.  She said she had gotten so much from our time together.  She said she felt more relaxed and at ease talking to me than all the men she's been dealing with. Her words made me feel so good.  I love what I do, and if I can make another woman feel that taking cool pictures is within reach, and break down the language and principles so that they're less intimidating, then I feel successful and fulfilled.

I've been trying to push the shutter more.  I've been looking to SEE lately, not just looking to keep from bumping into things.  It's not as easy as you'd think.  Or maybe seeing is, but translating that into something compelling might be a different story.  But what fun it is to try.

This weekend the manfriend and I took a ride on the Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Railroad.  We rode from Independence to Akron and back up to Peninsula before getting off the train for lunch.  We waited for about ten minutes to get shots of the train pulling away from the station.  I love the trainman signalling up the tracks.  By the way, the railway is 100% volunteer based.  That's pretty cool.

Note how the sign says "RESTAURANTS".  If one of the restaurants closes down, they're going to have to make a new sign.  (Get it? There's only two restaurants. Rim shot, please.)

There's also a "Gallery" in Peninsula.  I'm not positive what constitutes a gallery, but there was lots of very cool stuff from local artisans for sale.  I felt like a royal schmuck for taking pictures because it was all too rich for my blood...  Although, I did try to go back later in the day when beer had lubricated my wallet some, but alas, they were closed...

 Today my thighs are killing me, and I couldn't figure out why.  We sat on a train for 3+ hours and downtown Peninsula was about two square blocks.  However, it occurred to me after looking at these photos that I did spend the better part of our two hour layover squatting and climbing on top of every bench I could find to  get a better vantage point.

 More squatting.  Kerig has a very flattering picture of me taking this.  I must say, I didn't realize my knees could still do that...


Lunch consisted of a salad and two very large lite beers.  We came across this flower and I felt like I was drunk off my gourd. I wasn't, but the flower was swaying in the breeze and macro really requires a tripod.  I was moving, the flower was moving, the camera was moving, the focus point was moving...  I'm amazed that I got anything.  

 We will not go into detail about this lumber yard and that gorgeous golden hour(ish) light.  Suffice it to say: there was a cooler set up for this shot, where I was patiently waiting for the light to cooperate (the sun was in and out of clouds all afternoon) when I was informed it wasn't coming back out.  Liar.

But I can't be too irritated, since he did point out that popping the flash makes the sign really light up for the railroad crossing.  I wish that I had gotten at least one shot of the red flashers going.  

And you have to love a town where you can meander into the middle of the street, set your camera down on the double yellow line and take a couple of shots. Also, you have to love a town where you can do that and at the end of the double yellow line there's actually something picture worthy.

And this is my favorite shot of the day.  I'd like to shrug my shoulders and act all nonchalant, but I love the bokeh, the those hexagons make me a little swoony. And there's the light, which is just lovely without being contrived.

And there's one more shot that I want to share, but not from this weekend.

 This house only has crank out windows. I'm not exactly a fan, since it means that adding a window A/C window unit isn't an option.  And apparently, shelling out scratch to fix the central air "isn't an option" either. Right.  Whatever. Moving on....  Well, it's been a super hot summer, and the windows have been open constantly since June.  We have a couple of cob webs, but I'm in no hurry to go knock them down, since ...well...spiderwebs perform a specific function, and I'm a fan of that function.  So the webs stay. We've also been super dry this summer, and the rains finally started a week or so ago.  It's been wonderful. It's really true what they say about absence and the fond heart.  So it was finally a dark and rainy day and I was sitting at the table eating my lunch when this spiderweb in the crank-out window caught my eye.  I had to gingerly take the screen out of the window to get this shot, and the house is brown (not purple) but I had so much fun shooting this wet web.  And then playing with the shot in Lightroom to make it pop out.  I realize it's kind of gross, but I think it's the best kind of gross.  

Everything'll "B" okay...and a layout.

So I said I was going to wake up on Friday and not spend the entire day patting myself on the back, and that I'd be back with a more humble post soon.  Well, I didn't define "soon" and I'll be honest, I was still patting myself on the back for most of the day on Friday. ;)

I guess I really deserved those pats.  I just got home from dinner and errands and logged into my email to find my grade for my class: B.  Yay me!

Now I'll move on to the humble (and not school related) portion of the post.

So I got sent the Little Yellow Bicycle "Splash" line to play with and I was all excited because I have tons of pool pictures that still need to be scrapped, so I couldn't wait to 'dive' in.  (har har)  Well, if you read the last post you might have figured out that I've been a little distracted lately.  I had this brilliant idea...

Ok, so I'm an 8.5x11 scrapper now.  I haven't always been.  But when I signed up for Lain Ehmann's Layout A Day challenge in February of 2011 I decided to make the switch, based solely on the notion that I'd be able to plunk my layouts onto the scanner bed and save TONS of time.  For  LOAD you have to upload one layout every day.  If you scrap 12x12 you almost have to take a picture of the layout, and which is a royal pain in the butt, even if you know what you're doing.  So I switched.

So anyway, every once in a while I turn the 8.5x11 page and scrap it in a landscape orientation instead of portrait.  Cuz I'm crazzzzy like that.

Now, fast forward to the beginning of July, when I'm distracted as heck, and sitting down to make this layout.  I had this genius idea to make a two page horizontal layout:

It's okay, right? Maybe not my usual style, but fun. 

And then I woke up the next day and realized: how the heck am I supposed to put that in an album? What a flipping dork.  

So there: humble post. :P

Did I mention I got a B???

Totally Monkey Free

In his spoken word poem "What Teachers Make" Taylor Mali says "I make kids work harder than they ever knew they could.  I make a C+ feel like a congressional medal of honor and an A- feel like a slap in the face.  'How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best?'"

I just finished my Calc II class.  And holy hell, was is it HARD. And there is a very good chance that I only got a C+ in the class.

And yes, it feels like a congressional medal of honor.

I took the class at the local community college.  Community College. Easy, right? Piece of cake.  Over achieving stoners go to community college, right? I mean, if you're only paying $70 a credit hour, how hard can it possibly be?

My teacher was Jim Smolko. He didn't get that memo.  He's taught at Lakeland for over 30 years, and mostly he's retired, but every summer he comes back and teaches Calculus and Analytic Geometry I&II.  Mr. Smolko is probably the best teacher I've ever had...ever.  (The only competition he has is Mr. Aiello, my first true love and the teacher who gave me math, like a present with a bow on it.)  Mr. Smolko treated us like future mathematicians and engineers.  He didn't coddle us and say "Well, you made some silly errors, but I can tell you get the drift."

He gave us a quiz every day and for quite some time I really hated him for it.  But we had the same couple of quizzes over and over and over.  By the end of the semester I KNEW that stuff.  Without hesitation.  Backwards, forwards and inside out.  Go ahead.  Ask me the reduction formula  for the hyperbolic cosine of theta squared.  Cuz I can crank that shit out in my sleep.  Holla!

Yikes.  What happened there?

He graded us HARD.  Dickwad hard.  I recently got back a 40 point, 6 part problem that I got a D on, even though I got the answer to every part correct.  I made a notation error SIX times and for each occurrence he took off three points.  I wrote the wrong symbol.  I did the right symbol, but I wrote the wrong one.  FAIL.

And yeah. I was PISSED.  Cross-my-arms-and-scowl-and-not-take-notes pissed. But I'll tell you what. I will NEVER make that mistake again. EVER.

You know how sloppy habits creep in and tend to cement into place?  Maybe you wrote a cover letter and wrote "thru" instead of "through".  That kind of thing.  Mr. Smolko doesn't let the sloppy habits slide.  He circles them in red pen, writes the correction, and then, depending on the severity of the sloppiness writes "-1" or "-2" or...ugh..."-3."  By the end of the 11 weeks, his students know right from wrong and are conditioned to do it the right way.

One of the things that's been frustrating me at Notre Dame is that I don't feel like teachers actually grade assignments.  It's rare that I get feed back and I've gotten all A's with one exception.  I'm not bragging, I'm saying: I don't think I've earned those grades, I've been given them.  I feel like A's are handed out like participation ribbons in little league.  Those A's don't feel good - yes, I worked for them and I put in lots of effort, but with no feedback and no constructive criticism, there was no growth.  There wasn't stretching for the next level.  I wasn't being pushed.  I don't know if it is the teachers are lazy, or they don't believe that I/we can do better.  The kids in my classes all seem fine with it.  I think the all think they're actually A students. Pffft.

Mr. Smolko wasn't lazy. And he wasn't there to collect a pay check and let mediocrity slide through.  He's the Mr. Miyagi of Lakeland's math department.  He pushed.  He demanded.  He held the bar so high and never once lowered it for us.  Because he believed that we could do it.  Because he was training mathematicians and engineers.

And I would rather earn a C+ in a class where an A really means something than get an A in a class where it means nothing.

I have complained and struggled the whole way through.  I've cursed the teacher, I've been a horrible mother and a cranky coworker and girlfriend.  I've broken promises and dropped the ball on commitments.  I've had way too many RockStars.  But I am so proud of myself for what I've accomplished.

So, so proud.

If you're one of the people I've been cranky at or short with, or I've said I'd do something and I didn't: I'm sorry.  I hope this helps you see the bigger picture. I hope I can make it up to you.

And Mr. Smolko: Thank you. I haven't felt this strong in a long, long time.





And yes. Two back to back posts about how hard life's been and how proud I am of myself.  Tomorrow I will wake up and not spend the entire day patting myself on the back and I'll be back with a more humble post soon.  As always, thanks for stopping by.