Sunday, September 15, 2013

The Beginning of the End

I don't generally scrap on days that I work.  As weenie as it sounds, by the time I get home, I'm too spent to think straight so it rarely results in anything worthwhile.  But two things happened this week: I discovered that French vanilla cappuccino isn't disgusting and I put in my notice of resignation.  The combined effect of these two things is that I had something I wanted to say and enough go go juice in me to get it said.

I've been doing this school thing since June 8th, 2010 and I've been very upfront with my boss about the situation. She's been amazingly accommodating with regard to my schedule and random days off for school observations.  In turn, I've tried to mitigate scheduling issues and I told her when I'd be leaving Dodd as soon as I knew for certain.  As in, I found out in February of this year that I'd have to quit in January of next year.  How many people give 11 months notice?

So even though we've both known when I was leaving, I was asked to put it in writing by the company's president.  I'm not certain that I truly understand what was said since I wasn't there, but I think the gist was "She's said she was leaving before, and she hasn't.  If you want me to hire her replacement, you have to get it in writing."  Something about this rubs me the wrong way.  I feel like I've done something wrong, or it's been perceived that I've waffled about when I'd be leaving?  I did move up my leaving date when I found that the school was accepting my undergraduate credits which meant I'd be fulfilling my requirements about a year sooner.  About two years ago he asked me if I was interested in being a store manager, and I thanked him for the consideration and told him that I'd have to pass, since I was going to school to teach math and that I wouldn't be there long term.  Did he interpret that as I was leaving soon?  I didn't say I was leaving soon, I just implied that camera sales wasn't a long term career for me.

So this has been emotional for me.  The future is still too far away to feel excited about, so mostly I'm just dealing with ending something that I've actually really loved.  I can't have my cake and eat it too, I get that.  But right now I'm looking at leaving the only thing I've known for many years. I'm looking at losing my income for the duration of my student teaching and potentially longer - there is no guarantee that I'll be able to move straight into a teaching job or that I'll be able to pick up another retail job once my semester is finished.  So I'm sad and scared.  Excited, yes, but as I said, its too far away to get excited about.

So yeah.  I wanted to scrap it, as sort of a 'remember how scared/sad/worried/excited you were' thing.  That's all in the journaling, but since I wrote all that ^^^ I'm not going to bother sharing it here.


The dates represent when I handed in the notice and when it's effective.
I'm not crazy about photo of me.  I was messing around with an 8mm lens, and the super-wide angle makes me look a little deranged.  And somehow I also manage to mess around like this when I need a haircut very badly.  I'm usually not quite that shaggy.


I'm usually too frugal to put three pieces of flair on a page, but they just seem to fit.  I like the guy with the suitcase.  It seems to say "I'm outta here!"  Which is more defiant/joyful than I feel about the situation, but one day that will be my sentiment!

The journalling is in a glassine envelope.  I like the way the washi tape holds it in place.  I love when functional and cute come together to make the perfect solution!


When I was poking around my embellishments and came across this sticker I thought it was perfect.  Yes, I'm scared.  But this is what I've been working on.  So it's time to put of my big girl panties and make this happen. And I love the wood veneers, too.  (If I don't say so myself)  Just putting them on the page lifted my spirits and made me feel better.  It shifted my focus from what I'm leaving to what I'm becoming.  The glitter on the bird is from Martha Stewart and I got it eons ago at Michael's.  I don't know what it's called, and I just used it for the first time a couple of layouts ago.  It's weird, but I think I like it.

I feel better now that I've got all that out. ☺

Today the kids and the Mr. and I are going for a trail walk at a nearby park.  Chili is in the crock pot and the high for the day is forecast at 70º.  I don't have time to wallow, life is too damn good right now.

3 comments:

  1. "I don't have time to wallow, life is too damn good right now."

    That is exactly what you should be focusing on.

    If it's okay with you, I'd like to use your quote in my Project Life.

    There are so many statements that could be said in an attempt to make you feel better. Your feelings are real and justified. Change, even good change, sucks. It's the fear of the unknown that is the worst but also exciting. All will work out.

    ... for having to put your resignation in writing, don't take that personally. It's not about you.

    Can't wait to read the stories of your student teaching experiences.

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    Replies
    1. "Even good change sucks" --> LOL & Yep! Everything will be great, once I'm settled in on the other side, but this limbo period is going to be a test.

      But a good night's sleep and whining about it did help. ;)

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  2. "I don't have time to wallow, life is too damn good right now." That is too awesome! Love that.

    ReplyDelete