Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Stressed. Out.

Dear, sweet Baby Jesus, I could use a break. I'm tirrrrred.  Like, tired to the core. And here's the thing: I slept 8 hours last night.  And the night before. Which is a sure sign that I'm stressed out, cuz day'm! When I get stressed out there's nothing that I want more than a nap.

Well.  Cheese and beer are up there, too, but seriously - a nap would be the bomb.


That's me.  Yesterday.  Right before going in for my first day of teacher observations for my Methods in Teaching Field Studies class.  I'm really excited about this.  Excited in an "Wow! This is great! I'm getting so close to my goal!" annnnd...also....excited in an "Wow! This is positively terrifying!"

And as excited as I am, I'm also pretty panicked about it.  It's a lot of work, with worksheets and reflections, lesson plans and work samples and actually TEACHING 4 classes.

Now. I am not afraid of teaching.  I've taught at an expo with more people in each class than the biggest class I'm observing.  And I teach plenty at work now.  But there's a huge difference between teaching classes where your students are eager to be there and teaching classes where your students are obligated to be there by law.

But that's not all.  If that were the only thing on my plate, I'd be stressed.  Because that's what I do.  I worry.  But I channel that worry into preparation and then I kick major ass.  Sadly, there's only so much preparation I can I do for the rest of my life right now.  I came home from work on Monday night to find a "for sale" sign in the front yard.  I knew it was happening, and soon, but still it felt like being hit in the gut by a sturdy 12 year old boy.  It wasn't enough to put me down, but it still put a catch in my breath.

Today I found that I owe my insurance company $500 for a pair of glasses that I bought in the fall that aren't covered. Yay!

Jim texted me later to let me know that there will be showings tomorrow.  Yes. Because I wanted to come home from work and clean a house that I don't give a shit about.

I did Maggie's taxes today.  I don't know what Ruby Tuesday was thinking, but somehow they didn't take out enough and "she" owed $259.  Right. Because she has $259 to pay that.  And can get it to me before the 15th.  Guess who paid that?

And there's more. Lots more.  But not mine to share but it still affects me.  I just want it to be May, have both my classes done with and some kind of resolve about where I'm going to live come mid-June.  We're going to see a house on Sunday.  Should be interesting...

Next time I'll be happier. Or drunk. I'll let you know. ;)

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